Another Anniversary ... and Why

Yesterday marked our 16 month LID anniversary ... a far cry from the 6-8 month wait expected. Although our time is coming soon, it is difficult to let this time pass without feeling a whole lot of emotions ... I will not divulge myself openly here ... after ten years of struggle to almost get there, well ... you can only imagine. Why IS it taking so long? Aside from feeling like I am
'cursed', a member of our agency had some thoughts on the subject while spending some time in China just recently....

I have been coming to China for eleven years and I cannot help but be stunned by the changes wrought. Interestingly the changes I see in a decade here are many of those I have lived through in my nearly six decades of life in Canada. The social fabric of China is slowly ripping and will be, I can see, replaced by other material, all the best and worst of so called developed countries like Canada. While I am not certain that the foundation of family, the essence of China itself will collapse, it will assuredly shift.

The limiting of family size, either by decree or desire, the changing view of the need for a son, the support of seniors in old age, the programs that encourage having one daughter not just one son, the alarming imbalance of men to women, all are the first cracks in what was once deemed an impermeable foundation. The outward manifestations are the skylines filled with cranes as China rips down the old and reconstructs the new, high in the sky. The buildings, the acquisition of riches, are a reification of the changing values of the population within.

Adoption is now and will always be one manifestation of a society's changing mores. For instance in Canada through the 1970’s and 80’s, adoption placements, both in the public and private spheres, declined radically. Adoption seemingly became anathema for many who might once have considered it as a first choice for an unplanned pregnancy.

History repeats itself endlessly and what happened to adoption in Canada and the other industrialized countries of the world is now happening in China. As you all know the waits in China have more than doubled in the last fifteen months. I am repeatedly asked why and, moreover, what the future might hold. While I am not a seer, my trip, and my many conversations with all manner of officials connected to adoption makes it clear what has transpired, and what the future indeed might hold. I have already in essence explained it by highlighting the changing social mores and economic circumstances here. There is less and less reason for the abandonment of babies. Families are less pressured to abandon their girls in an effort to have a boy. There is not only growing awareness and acceptance that girls can look after their parents in old age as well as boys, but the government is offering incentives to families to retain their daughters and also to assist seniors as! in more developed countries through minimal monthly support payments much like our OAS. The improving economic situation of many families means some can pay a fine to keep a second child regardless of gender; many more Chinese families are adopting girls as their second or even first child as they can now afford to do so. In short, all the reasons that lead families here to abandon their girls, who then were placed abroad, are evaporating. There is less and less need for girls to leave their birth family and/or their birth country. Unless there is a complete economic collapse here, or a quantum shift in thinking, I can only see children in need of families will also continue to decline.

By most estimates there were 30% fewer children requiring international adoption in 2006 than 2005. That 30% is predicted to continue although to what degree over what time no one can say, only that the situation will persist. What was made clear to us is that longer waits can be expected.

For those of you in the queue I know this is the most unwelcome of news. While there is no indication that China will close or adoption disappear, it will continue to shrink, as did Ontario, as did South Korea, as will all countries that start down the road to prosperity. Once a country can afford to support all its parents to some degree, adoptions will decline.

Although for the moment, this did little to lift my spirits, I have to be happy for the many little girls who will grow up in their birth mothers arms, as well as the very special little one out there who will find her place in mine!